I wrote this a year ago when my son was just a smidge over two years old. That yummy, sticky mixture of wanting all mama while simultaneously bubbling with bursts of his emerging self ….we were at a familiar trail, one that splits into a big half acre loop through a wooded path full of dips and turns, with each side out of sight until again meeting at the center amongst tree roots and fallen leaves. It was a clear, beautiful day when he looked at me with wide eyes asking if he could choose right as mama went left.

As you run full speed

down the trail 

away 

from me, soon to be out of sight hidden by trees, leaves and limbs, 

I exhale fear and expand into trust. 

I feel you slip from my grasp, my sight, 

you step into your first experiences of wild independence. 

I run full speed towards your trails end, eyeing for your blue sweater

like hunter eyes its prey. 

You are mine. I am yours. Yet I must let you go... today only for a single loop trail but

soon.. oh so soon. 

Your almost steady toddler run comes around the bend, eyes ablaze with wonder of moments only you will know. A red leaf against a blue sky, a leap over a fallen branch. 

Your run ends as you bury your head into my pelvis, exclaim “meet you!” 

at the place within me where it all began, 

that beautiful ride of rhythms through my belly on an August afternoon, 

when I was finally able to meet you.